


Mistake

by JustJasper



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Cliche, Jilted, Left at the Altar, M/M, Marriage, Romance, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2528270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJasper/pseuds/JustJasper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid doubts the choice he's made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [graphic on tumblr](http://justjasper.tumblr.com/post/101196142850/) because I suddenly got the urge to write something trope-y.

He was happy. He was happy and he loved Ethan enough to marry him. Enough. Reid wiped his clammy hands on the slacks of his suit, and tried not to look at himself too long in the mirror of the little room where he was, alone until someone told him it was time. He’d made a good choice, he knew it; this was just normal nerves. This was possibly the most important day of his life, it was normal for his palms to be sweaty and for his chest to ache and for him to be thinking wild, flickering thoughts about a man he wasn’t going to marry. It didn’t mean anything.

Nobody was walking either of them up the aisle, though they still had one that parted their guests; they made their entrance from opposite doors and walked steadily towards each other. Ethan was trying to hide a grin, and Reid felt something twist in his gut. He had never been nervous like this, had never felt any hesitation in saying yes or making preparations, but now he found himself uncharacteristically flighty. He didn’t flee, even when the odds were against him, even when he was unsure. He made sure choices, and he stuck with them.

Their friends were all there, standing to watch them proceed arm in arm, Ethan’s parents and Reid’s mother at the very front. They looked as excited as Reid wanted to feel, but he smiled anyway. It would be fine. Garcia had an elaborate coif in her hair and was filming them. Prentiss’ was in from London and taking photos on her camera, giving him a smile and a nod when he sought her eye contact.

He didn’t notice him until they were at the front, and everyone else had sat down. Morgan was on the end of the third row next to Ethan’s sister, smiling and looking at the front, but not at him. He’d walked right past him and hadn’t realised until he looked back. God, he wanted the man to look at him. He knew that if he did, he’d know for sure what to do. He needed a reason, a sign to tell him what to do next.

It took him a moment to realise the Justice had begun speaking, and he looked back to see Ethan smiling still, but eyebrows twitched upwards. Reid smiled automatically, placating. His throat was tight and he was very aware of his heart beating in his chest. Ethan reached out and they joined both hands, loosely linked together in front of them.

"I, Ethan Jones, take you, Spencer Reid, to be my husband," Ethan began on cue, taking his time with the words, making sure to get them right, "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Reid had only needed to read his vows once to know them off by heart, but they were caught in him. He cleared his throat and took a breath, blinking into the moment.

"I, Spencer Reid- I - I can’t do this."

Stunned silence quickly filled up with whispers and murmurs, and as Reid cast his eyes around there was surprise and concern on all the faces, or smiles help precariously in place.

"Reid?" Ethan said, and Reid tugged his hands away.

"I’m sorry," he implored, forcing himself to look at his would-be husband. "I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this."

"What’re you talking about?" Ethan asked helplessly. "You love me."

"I’m sorry."

"It’s just nerves!" Ethan said, panic clear in his voice, eyes wide with shock. "It’s gonna be fine!"

"It won’t!" Reid said, and it felt like it was becoming harder and harder to breath. He’d fucked up so badly, he wanted to drop dead right there. "I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I care about you, Ethan, but I’m making a mistake. I don’t - I don’t love you," he said, barely registered the gasps from their witnesses.

"You don’t _love_ me,” Ethan echoed, “or you don’t love _me_ , but you love someone _else_?!”

Tears pricked at Reid’s eyes, his lips pressed tightly together because he didn’t dare to answer as Ethan stared him down.

"Spencer," Morgan’s voice called through the buzz of noise; he was stood up, all eyes sliding to him, but this time he looked nowhere but right at Reid.

"You!" Ethan barked, pointing at Morgan. "Him?!" head snapping back to Reid.

He knew he couldn’t turn back now. He hurried down the few shallow steps of the staging area, grabbing for Morgan’s wrist as he kept going. As people swivelled in their seats to watch, the chatter loud now, Morgan grabbed his hand and fell into pace with him. They barged out one of the side doors and quickly broke into a run through the passages to the exit, through the grounds to the parking lot, to Morgan’s car.

"I can’t believe I did that."

"This is what you want, isn’t it?" Morgan asked as he started the engine.

Reid leaned across to kiss him on the mouth, holding him tightly by the jaw, shaking with adrenalin.

"Yes," he said, barely moving his mouth away so he could immediately kiss him again. "I want to be with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to know it."

"It’s okay, baby," Morgan said. "But if we’re running away from the storm we’ve just brought, we better get going."

"Yes," Reid said as he put on his seatbelt. "They’re going to hate us."

"Some of them," he laughed as he manoeuvred the car out of the lot.

"I made the right choice," Reid said, leaning back in his seat. "Finally."


End file.
